Of course LA has pilates for dogs

by sanjosebarstool


Pawlates

 

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KRON 4 – It’s not just a people problem: Growing rates of obesity in pets have led to the emergence of fat farms offering “pawlates,” ”doga” and “Barko Polo,” doggie versions of Pilates, yoga and Marco Polo to help slim down man’s best friend. In the U.S., 53 percent of dogs are overweight or obese, up from 45 percent four years ago. In cats, the figure is almost 58 percent, said Dr. Ernie Ward, a veterinarian and founder of the Association of Pet Obesity Prevention in Calabash, North Carolina. Overweight pets can suffer diabetes, joint problems, heart disease and decreased life expectancy, just like obese people, he said.

Most luxury pet hotels and spas nationwide will customize a fitness program for a pudgy dog or cat, but only a few facilities have fat camps for large groups.

Wonder how you get a dog to do a downward dog? You wouldn’t even recognize that yoga pose in the canine version. “Doga” and “pawlates” are a lot alike — both are about stretching while building strength, balance and flexibility. In “doga,” stretches are close to the ground, while “pawlates” uses higher balance equipment like large exercise balls, Montgomery said.

And the “Barko Polo” pool game varies from its human inspiration: A staffer will shout “barko” and whichever dog-paddling pooch yelps first gets a toy. In all activities, “the dogs work for their meals. We praise and make the sessions fun and interactive,” Montgomery said. After the cardio come the doggie facials: a cleansing massage that wipes away organic food crumbs and exercise-induced slobber.

First it was dogs on airplanes as “service” dogs now they’re doing pawlates? How horrible of a dog owner do you have to be to not A) Play with your dog 2) Not let it eat like shit all the time and D) Take it for a walk once in a while?

I’ve never owned a dog but I have lived with a buddy who had one and I loved taking it for walks or to the park to throw the stick and ball around. Pure joy on both of our parts, just me and a man’s best friend. Not man’s step-son who’s diabetic that you have to enroll in fat camp. I thought the whole point of having a dog was to have a buddy that wouldn’t judge you and then you get to laugh when it hits on other dogs by sniffing up their or laughing at what stuff they decide to pee on? I thought this was America.

Really the problem is all these Orange County housewives that bought big dogs instead of the little small ones they’re stereotypically supposed to have. You think this dog wants to be hooked up heart monitor and put on the gerbil wheel? Absolutely not. So if you’re going to buy a dog and won’t take it outside ever and feed it treats all the time, buy a small one that has a high metabolism and runs around the house all day because it’s the size of a shoe box. Don’t be the owner of this dog:

 

 

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