Mobs of men stealing frozen chicken terrorizing San Francisco

by sanjosebarstool


SFGate – San Francisco police are looking for a group of men suspected in what may come to be known as the Great Poultry Heist of 2014.

Around 9:45 p.m. Wednesday a group of six or seven men entered a grocery store on the 100 block of Marina Boulevard near Fort Mason.

After perusing the aisles for a few minutes, one of the suspects grabbed a packet of chicken from the meat case. Flouting the laws of both our city and the capitalist system, the man attempted to exit the store without paying for the chicken, authorities said.

A security guard on the premises sought to intervene and was promptly punched in the face by the suspect. The guard sustained a cut to the head, but is expected to recover, police said.

The suspect is described as being between 25 and 30 years old, around 5-foot-7 and between 130 and 150 pounds, depending on his recent chicken intake.

Police said they are continuing to investigate, but do not currently have any leads.

First off, this security guard needs to get fired ASAP. 5′ 7, around 140? This isn’t Floyd Mayweather we’re talking about it here, it’s a chicken thief we’re talking about. Hell, shovel girl took about 90 blows to the head from a teenage girl of about the same height and weight and she seemed fine. Guy needs to go.

I would venture to say this is a fraternity prank but there aren’t really schools up in the Fort Mason area and with no indication that it was anyone of any sort of ethnicity, it’s safe to say that this was a white dude. This begs the question, why is a white dude stealing chicken? Who knows but punching out the security guard seems a bit extreme. I’d point to drugs but a roving squad rolling 6 or 7 deep to steal thigh meat? Could be the great mystery of our time. I only pray we see another heist this summer.