How many extended family members would you sacrifice to be w/ Rihanna during her Aspen bday weekend?

by sanjosebarstool

riri8 rir7 riri6 riri5 riri4 riri3 riri2 riri1

 

So these gems, and there are many more, dropped about 4 days ago and they’ve been marinating in my thoughts/s-bank ever since. I do not have the money to afford me the opportunity to me in the same lodge/stratosphere as my girl, but given the option of sacrificing one of the many extended family members I have, I would 100% do it. The number however? That’s a better question.

Now granted, I have about 30 aunts/uncles and way more cousins so for me it’s a little unfair and remarkably, we all pretty much like each other. That being said, I’d have to say the number is 3. Would you sacrifice that many family members to be with Rihanna for an entire long weekend? Because this is what you’d get:

  • 3 days and 3 nights at one of the nicest lodges in Aspen, closed to the public. Just you, her, and whatever entourage entertainment she desires, but you’re her dude for the weekend.
  • Probably the most stanky ganj you’ll ever smoke/eat in your life.
  • 3 nights with one of the hottest chicks on the planet in her prime. We’re talking Maris in 61 type prime. Unimaginable things with the lights off and the honor of being looked at it any time she gyrates in her music videos (and nodding with a grin).
  • Probably one of the more enjoyable snow tubing experiences of your life.
  • Getting to sing Happy Birthday to Rihanna (how many people get to say that?)

With all things being said, I think I would take it. More than 3 is an entire family, can’t do that. But baked snow-tubing and hot-tubbing with Rihanna. Where do I sign?

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