Bay Area 4 Barstool

I'm the biggest stoolie in California

Giant’s AT&T Park now has “Gotham Club” in right field

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I have no idea when this is opening, nor how much it will cost to get in there, but I’ll be damned if I don’t drop several c-notes at least once this season to get this treatment. The Gotham Clubhouse? Jesus Christ, the name alone gives me a rock hard, middle school era boner. Pretty sure this has gotta be the new go to date/excuse to go to a baseball game? Tell your Tinder date you’re going to the ball game then you embarrass the shit out of her by dressing up and bringing her to the Gotham Club? Talk about a 3-2 change up, this girl won’t know what hit her. Hell, as soon you walk into the Gotham Club and before she picks her jaw up off the floor, pretty sure you could drop a, “Oh and I’ll want my eggs poached tomorrow morning” and get away with it no problem.

San Francisco State professor arrested after filming students taking dumps in his home

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NBC Bay Area – A former San Francisco State University professor is accused of filming students while they used the bathroom at his home, according to the San Francisco District Attorney’s Office.

Mark Landis, 38, was arrested Wednesday and faces 15 counts of invasion of privacy, a misdemeanor. He is currently out of custody after posting $100,000 bail and is scheduled to be arraigned on Tuesday.

The district attorney’s office said Landis would invite students from San Francisco State University and University of San Francisco to his 17th Street apartment.

“Obviously they were shocked by this behavior,” San Francisco District Attorney George Gascon said of the victims. “It was so unexpected and you feel such an invasion of your privacy.”

Officials said there are 15 victims, both male and female and all former or current students from SFSU and USF. Gascon said investigators believe there may be more victims.

In November 2013, a student visiting Landis at his apartment noticed a flashing light in the bathroom when they reached for a tissue, officials said. The student looked inside the tissue box and found a camera.

The student took the camera’s memory card home and discovered videos and pictures, officials said. The student then brought the memory card to police.

An equal opportunity peeping tom, who knew such a character guy existed. Dude shitting, woman peeing, green jacket, gold jacket, who gives a shit? Well hopefully his students because he’s got the camera rolling. So this guy just likes watching people shit, right? Or maybe it’s just people he knows firsthand? Not really sure. Don’t wanna sound like Stephen A. Smith here, but how you’d ever end up at Mark Landis’ apartment, that’s on you. How or why you’d ever go to your single, older, white, glasses-wearing, professor at a state school’s apartment and then use the bathroom, I can’t comprehend. It just screams creepy shit going to happen/I could die tonight.

I will say this though, no student can ever accuse Prof. Landis of playing favorites after this news. Everyone is fair game. It’s just too bad we’re not in an age anymore where we can hang out with our teachers outside of class.

Crazy Asian lady fights crazy bum on MUNI bus

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First off, I’ve never been more afraid for someone than when the bum said, “You threaten my life….I’ll break your fucking jaw,” but to have the courage to come back with “You threaten your own life!” was nothing short of amazing. His reaction to that retort was Ric Flair like, running over to get her out there, I was half expecting to hear a WOOOOOOO after seeing this

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Nightmare fuel in smelly blues jeans indeed. But you have to love her strategy of just tossing everything right back at him, “Who’s a whore?” Sun Tzu would be incredibly proud of her deflection method until she basically went through every emotion a human can have then mocking other concerned Asian ladies. You realize she is the aggressor in fact and maybe this bum wasn’t so nuts after all. Unbelievable plot twist, laughing like a villain at the end, scaring off everyone. Did not see that coming at all.

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Joe Staley rocking a Cali-muscle shirt and a tub of protein, is ready for training camp

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WHOAAAAAAA, who’s ready for training camp?!?! If I’m anyone in the NFC WEST not on the 49ers, I’m pretty much shitting my pants because only beasts wear Cali-Muscle shirts, bro.

No big deal or anything, just big dogs.

P.S. Only time I’ve done flow. Mixed reviews.

BART rider of the day

Just gonna go read the papers and not get influenza, read the papers and not get influenza.

Need this Biz Markie A’s card

I haven’t bought baseball cards in the better part half of two decades but I would put this card right in the corner of my computer screen purely for inspiration. What would Biz Markie say about these reports that need to go out? How would Biz Markie handle this conference call? Just a daily reminder to keep it real.

Currently that space is taken up by Pat Burrell, because you need a reminder to face your problems head on, then fuck your problems, let your problems know who they just got fucked by and then leave.

Photo on 6-2-14 at 2.56 PM

P.S. Never forget:

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Sleeping hobo accidentally loaded into garbage truck

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KRON4 – A Recology truck driver saved a man’s life after he was accidentally loaded into his recycling truck in San Francisco’s Sunset District, Recology and fire officials said. The truck driver picked up a load of cardboard at along Irving Street between 9th and 16th avenues around 6:30 a.m. when he heard someone banging on the trailer of the truck, fire spokeswoman Mindy Talmadge said.

Recology spokesman Robert Reed said the driver called out to see if there was a person, and the man yelled back.

The quick thinking driver raced down to San Francisco fire station No. 22 at 16th Avenue and Irving Street a few blocks away to get help.

Fire crews were able to rescue the 58-year-old man who had been sleeping in the recycling dumpster, Talmadge said.

The man was taken to San Francisco General Hospital with minor injuries from being crushed in the truck, according to Talmadge.

The recycling truck has a push wall that compacts the cardboard, according to Reed.

“It’s a miracle that the guy wasn’t crushed,” he said.

A pretty ironic way of typifying that you’re life is literally and figuratively in the dumps is when you get lifted out of the trash to be destroyed by a dump truck. As far as ways to go out in this world, being viciously woken up amongst smelly trash to meet your demise at the hands of a machine is probably up the near top.

But as far as wake up calls from above this also a pretty big one, if not to turn your life around but at the very least find sturdier lodging. Not sure what a 58 year old man can do to change his situation, perhaps a national ad campaign for homeless shelters being like, “Hi, I’m a homeless dude. Like the rest of you, I sleep on the street and one day a garbage truck almost killed me because it dumped me in the back. But that was my wake up call to not sleep in such a smelly place because it almost killed me. So go to your local shelter and find a cot or at the very least a back alley where you know what day trash day is. Thanks.”

Boom. Solved the visual eye sore of the homeless sleeping near the trash cans and also probably lessened their odor. Sign me up for city government.

 

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